


Kiibo and Miu buy a strap-on.

by Gozufucker



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bonus mode au? I guess?, Embarrassment, F/M, I'm ashamed, No spoilers for V3, Pre-Established Relationship, coarse language, just take it from my hands and never look at me again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:38:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozufucker/pseuds/Gozufucker
Summary: The summary's in the title.





	Kiibo and Miu buy a strap-on.

Cling ding ringa ding. The bell attached to the door of the small, shady shop rung as two figures stepped inside, one clad in a pink seifuku, the other in a pieces of metal that resembled something like a uniform, large, metallic ahoge twitching and almost hitting the doorframe when they stepped inside. The store smelled strange. A little sweaty, stuffy, and just horrible in general!

Then again, Kiibo’s judgement of the smell might’ve been because of the reason they were here. Miu closed her umbrella and stored it in a basket right next to the door, the drumming of rain echoing inside the sex shop as Kiibo did the same. While it’d been almost “romantic” to share the same umbrella, Kiibo had insisted the two of them would get separate ones to minimize the chance of Miu getting sick. Not that he exactly needed one himself, he couldn’t get sick, but… Rain was uncomfortable.

A sex shop. Ugh!!! Why’d he let her talk him into it? Miu could’ve built one of… Those, those things, herself! They could’ve done that like a mature pair, but she’d been very convincing in her explanation. “You need to get a strap-on first to get all practiced up on sex! Getting you a big-ass robodick right away will make sex unsatisfying, hyaahyahyahyahya!”

That’s how she worded it, her howling laughter echoing in the back of his mind constantly. They’d already discussed their relationship and what Kiibo wanted to do (which was surprisingly nice, considering Miu was… Well, Miu) and so on, but he’d never actually stopped to consider just /how/ these things would go about. He’d just expected they would just pop something out of existence and work around that. That was what seemed ideal to him.

But no. They had to buy a strap-on. They couldn’t just build one, no, no no no, because Miu said that he needed to get used to a strap-on first before they started to get custom made ones. He supposes the thought is sweet enough, but knowing Miu, she just wants to make a scene. 

“Oiii. Kiibooooooo.”

The robot snapped back from his deep thoughts to the sight of Miu waving a hand in front of his eyes.

“Are you alive in there? Yahoo? Or are ya already busy thinkin’ about just how much you’re gonna be poundin’ thi--”

Kiibo slapped a hand in front of Miu’s mouth and made a face, brows somewhat furrowed. He’d gotten used to her extreme and often unsanitary topics, but this was a public place. Miu glared right back at him before making a submissive noise and grunting, causing Kiibo to remove his hand from her face.

“Tch. Killjoy. C’mon, let’s go and get ya practice dick.” 

Miu grabbed Kiibo by the hand and begun to drag him along, which was a surprising feat of strength considering the fact that he was quite weighty thanks to his metal frame, and adding on top of that the fact that Miu was pretty unhealthy. It’d taken a lot from him just to get her to eat healthier, and she still refused to actually go and work out.

They passed by the bored (supposed) owner of the small establishment (was this a part of a chain? Kiibo didn’t know, and didn’t dare to ask Miu) and got to the correct part of the shop, passing by such things as vibrators and… Were those paddles? Oh, goodness.

At least this was a small shop, so he couldn’t get too embarrassed by the vast selection of sex toys. The rack in front of them still seemed massive to the robot, trying to pull his collar up to hide his face, only to curse the fact that such a thing wasn’t possible. The most he could do was cover everything up to his mouth.

“Awwright! So, so, what do ya like, what do ya wanna wear, what kinda ride do ya wanna take to pussy patrol?”

“S-Stop that! Y-You should be choosing anyways, I didn’t /want/ to come with you to get one. As long as it’s s-something you like and… You know. Just choose already, I’m sure you’ll pick something good!”

Why was he putting even an attograms worth of trust into Miu and her selective methods? Maybe it was the mere embarrassment messing with his circuits, with Kiibo occasionally glaring over his shoulder in case someone he knew walked in through the door. That was an impossibility, though: no-one in his class would just step in and buy a sex toy.

Besides maybe Ouma. But Ouma didn’t count. 

He could feel something solid poking against his cheek after an especially long moment of just staring at the door, waiting anxiously for his doom. His head turned and stared at what was poking him, coming eye to eye with… Something very purple. That didn’t even look like male genitalia. It was curved, and the tip seemed different compared to what he had previously researched. 

“That, um. Are you sure you picked that up from the right portion? That just seems like a strangely curved stick. It reminds me of a scimitar, actually. Do they sell swords in shops like these?”

Miu’s face rapidly twitched between utter amusement and disappointment, much to Kiibo’s confusion. Silence reigned between the pair for what felt like an eternity before Miu sighed and placed the strapon (or scimitar) back onto its spot on the rack. “I guess ya dunno about Bad Dragon… That’s alright, we’ll have to get on that later.”

Some force deep within Kiibo’s subconscious stopped him from questioning her words, instead patiently waiting as Miu went through the rack once more before then presenting her next choice: a large, pink one, with studded spikes. He was going to faint just from looking at it, but Miu seemed excited just from holding it.

“Ain’t it just like old prickly?! Ya know, the purple one I’ve got laying around the garage! The one you almost sat on once! Hyaahyahyahya, oh man, I think this thing going up my ass would---“

“Absolutely kill you! I refuse completely!”

Miu paused on her tracks, jaw dropping by a noticeable amount. “Huh, kill me?! What do ya mean by kill me?! I don’t think you can fuck hard enough to fuck me up that badly, unless you’re actually some super secret sex god or something.”

Kiibo waved his hands and made a screeching noise similar to the noises he makes when he tries to sing: like nails on a chalkboard. “Hhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa- Look at those spikes! They’d rupture your insides! That’d be a horrible experience for both you and me! You’d be hurt, and there’d be blood everywhere!!!!”

Miu stared at him quite blandly for ten seconds before her palm slapped against her face, the ensuing smack echoing through the store. “Kiibo. I love you, I really do, you’re the apple of my eye, the only bot for me, the thing I love workin’ on the most. But tell me. Just tell me: Look at these spikes. Do they look deadly sharp to you.”

Kiibo leaned his head forwards and examined the pink monstrosity, running his fingertip across the spikes. God, that felt wrong. But now that he observed more closely, the studded spikes were… Studded! What a surprise! 

“T-They might be blunt, but still, those might hurt you. I’m… I’m just not comfortable with something like this for my first time.”

Miu sighed and pet Kiibo’s head, shaking her own soon after. “You’re sweet, but c’mon. It wouldn’t be that bad.”

Despite her assurances, Miu already returned the monstrosity back onto its spot on the rack and begun to dig around more. This time Kiibo even dared to look with her, occasionally daring to stop her from getting the most outrageous of suggestions. Eventually, through teamwork and some bickering, they came upon the best solution.

It was purple, but not outrageously so. There were no spikes or indents or flamethrowers or rocket boosters or anything out of place, and it wasn’t too big or thick, but not too small or thin. Just the perfect little 

“DICK!”

Yeah, that. Kiibo groaned again and covered his face as Miu slammed the strap-on down on the counter and decked out the money necessary to pay for it, thanking the boring looking owner(?) before heading back to the door, grabbing their umbrellas. The rain had stopped by now, so the two could walk and enjoy the afternoon sun…

… Although Kiibo felt embarrassed holding the bag. It wasn’t obvious or anything, just an ordinary plastic bag with no markings on it, but he felt like he was on fire while just carrying the thing, knowing what lied inside of it.

Miu leaned against his arm and wrapped a hand around it, grinning as her finger repeatedly jammed against his side. “See? See see see see? That wasn’t bad at all, you big dummy.”

“Not bad for you, maybe.” Kiibo sighed, but managed just a little smile as they walked together. 

“Ppppffftt. You know, it was pretty fuckin’ embarrassing for me too, ya know! I was gonna lose my eyes from their sockets when ya thought that fuckin’ dragon dick was a scimitar! Like, hello, who the fuck sells scimitars in a sex shop?!

“Wait, they sell dragon peni—“


End file.
